Ask Dr. LeighAnn Wong: Is this feeling or emotion wrong?

LSW Psychological Services, Fort Myers, FL
www.LSWpsychology.com

Clients often ask me how to stop feeling a certain way.  "Dr. Wong, how do I stop feeling angry?"  "How do I make my sadness go away?"  "I wish I never got nervous."  "Is there something wrong with me?"  The surprising truth is that our feelings are always right.  It's what we do because of our feelings that can get us in trouble.

Our feelings and emotions are there for a reason.  They tell us things we need to know to make the first step toward change.  Having no feelings or emotions means that we are not living.  When we feel like our emotions are out of control, we can also feel like there is something wrong with ourselves, but most of the time that is not true.

The most valuable thing to do when we get to an emotional cliff is give ourselves a Pause Moment.  In that moment we can take control of our next actions despite how we are feeling.  Because our feelings and emotions are there for a reason.  In that moment, what is your feeling telling you?  Are there several feelings at once?  If so, why might that be the case?  That Pause Moment gives us more than time.  We also get empowerment, control, and confidence (just to name a few).  Once we take that Pause Moment then we can choose what happens next, even if the choices aren't great.  That choice can be the difference between bad things always happening to us or good things coming our way.

So next time you find yourself on that emotional cliff, do yourself a favor:
1- Take a deep breath and PAUSE.
2- Try to NAME THE FEELING OR FEELINGS that are trying to take over your control.
3- Try to NAME THE CHOICES you have in this moment.
4- CHOOSE your path.
5- And then DO IT to the best of your ability at the time.
6- FORGIVE YOURSELF if it does not turn out the way you want.
7- TRY AGAIN the next time you end up on that emotional cliff.

Life never turns out the way we expect.  All we can do is what we can in the moment.  If we can figure out one moment that means we can probably figure out the next one.  Before you know it, a bunch of moments have gone by and it turns out that they were not that bad.  Moments turn into minutes, which turns into hours, which turns into days.  All done one moment at a time.  We can do it.  Together we will find a way.

-Dr. LeighAnn Wong
Licensed Psychologist
LSW Psychological Services

I would be happy to answer any questions you may have.  You can comment, call (239-599-5656), e-mail (DrLeighAnnWong@gmail.com), or submit a request through our website (www.LSWpsychology.com).  We are looking forward to hearing from you!